My Status / Forum status

[Dave Hicks]

It’s been quite an eventful year here. I was working on an update to the forum but had to put it aside for a bit to work on my taxes in March. A bit? Yeah, still waiting to get back to it.

Four months ago, Dad fell. Twelve hours later, mom fell and broke her hip. Then she died last Friday. A few months ago, I had to move Mom and Dad to two assisted living rooms (since the place had nothing large available) and they still hadn’t recovered from that disruption. Now, Dad and I are dealing with Mom’s death, and sorting through all the stuff in her room. It took me several days just to figure out where she hid her wedding rings.

Adding to the fun is that we just started receiving bills for the rental of a hospital bed that mom used for 2 weeks in May and no one has seen recently. The building admin told dad he would take care of it. He quit a month later.

Meanwhile, I’m also doing dad’s PT, getting his LTC started up (I hope!), eating lunch and dinner with him, etc. So, I expect to be very busy through the end of this year.

The Long Term Care insurance is a hoot. We had started a claim on mom’s, and they needed a statement from us, one from the primary doc, one from the hospital, one from the facility, and then 120 pages of additional supporting statements from the facility, and after all that, they needed to send someone in person to make sure a 75lb, 92-year-old woman with a broken hip, scoliosis, osteoporosis, congestive heart failure, etc. wasn’t faking a need for assistance. (She hated assisted living!)

The in-person assessment was supposed to happen the day after mom entered the hospital, so I called and suggested they assess her in the hospital – oh no can do! It turns out that after any/every hospital visit they start the whole assessment/claim process over because your capabilities may have changed. Oh, and every 90 days too.

Currently I do hope to be able to get back into forum work early next year. I hope. We’ll see…

It was helpful to vent a bit. And to let people know that I’m still alive.

[Etienne Victoria]

Hello Dave,

This is to let you know I do understand what you're going through and feel what you feel.

You have more than my mere sympathy as we both live similar stories, thousands of kms away.

Taking care of our elder is difficult enough but having to add administrative hassle over top is often too much.

I'm sorry for your loss. I believe remembering the happy days when our parents were strong and helping building our lives greatly helps now that we are at the helm.

Take care.

Etienne

[WillMarchant]

So sorry to hear that, Dave! What an agony. Hopefully it helps a little bit that we’re out here listening and hope that things get better.

[rprosperi]

Dave,

Deepest condolences on the loss of your Mom, made worse by all the admistrivia they run you through when you're trying to deal with such a deep loss.

I hope venting has helped, and if so, please do so regularly, lol

Spending time with your Dad is soo important now, for both of you, take as much time as you can, maybe even a bit more than you really can, you won't regret it.

Thoughts and prayers are with you...

[HP67]

Dave, very sorry to hear of the loss and the hardships.

Most of us here have grey beards and grey (or no!) hair, so we can all commiserate.

Best wishes for things to go as well as possible, and enjoy the time with your Dad as much as you can.

Thanks for running the forum, even in absentia- Bob and the guys seem to keep it going fine.